Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

I don't even know where to start with this story. What began as a general attempt at being a good person, has now invariably led to the addition of a new furry object on my person. Yes, the ratio of pussy to Mike in my household has increased 3 to 1. What am I talking about? Let me explain.

I was coming home from band practice the other night when I heard meowing from the steps above my apartment door. Upon further investigation, I realized that there was a 4 to 5 month old kitten direly in need of attention. Next thing I knew, she was rubbing my leg and it was all over. I took her home and my bathroom has had the fragrant aroma of pooh and kitty litter ever since.

I had noticed when I found Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto (that's her new name by the way) that she had been de-clawed recently, so I issued a block wide man hunt the next day for her owner, whom of which, 40 flyers later and a billion knocks door to door, I found. It appears that the previous owner was forced to release her cat because the apartment complex she lives in does not allow pets. So she released her young kitten on the world… and then, well, the fury little hellion found me. This was about three days ago.

Domo has quite the talent for keeping me up at night. A matter of fact, Jameson (the other pussy in my life) has a rather good knack for this as well. The two have teamed up to make sure that I don't have a good night's sleep, ever! Seriously, I'm thinking that they conspire to allow me no rest with whispers of "Meow and Mutiny." They have a career in WWE waiting if this home life thing never works out for them.

I constantly hear people say that cats are horrible pets (and they're right). Think about it, dogs have that whole pack mentality thing happening where humans can assume the role of leader… and dogs just fall in line. Cats on the other hand, see right through that bullshit; they are independent creatures by nature. I think that's why I like cats so much. They jump on the table for attention; they know it's going to piss me off, but since I ignore them, they push my buttons just to get me to pay attention to them. It's kind of cute once you stop screaming at them… and utterly devious. In all respects, I am positive that they think I am theirs: "Feed me human! Can't you see I'm starving, oh, and while you're at it, my cat box is soiled; get to it bucko… oops, did I just vomit on your carpet; my bad."

I think next time I'm going to think twice about being a good person…