Good Night - Good Morning

So, as another year draws near to a close, I find myself in a particularly peculiar mood this evening… or should I say this morning? After all, it is 2:53 AM, and I'm several hours from the point in which I'm supposed to consider my consciousness a new day and should feel obligated to pursue my daily routines… mainly and most importantly, continuing my efforts to complete the booking for my West Coast College Tour in 2008 over a cup of steamy and highly caffeinated coffee, black, no sugar.

However, at the moment, I'm multitasking, doing my best to wrestle two cats (one kitten named Ella Fitzgerald and one semi-adult cat named Jameson) who conjointly feel the necessity to be loud and chase each other around a small studio apartment at an hour when most mammals (mainly humans) should normally feel compelled to sleep… however, in light of this, I did a wikipedia search on cats and found out much to my chagrin that they're nocturnal. Fiddlesticks.

But considering that I'm awake, how about we talk a little?

So, as I had mentioned earlier, I've been planning a rather broad tour through California, Oregon, and Washington in the month of February and early March 2008. I'm playing mostly colleges, but I'm also planning on playing a number of venues, resorts, churches, alleys, houses, brothels, bowling alleys, chucky cheese's… pretty much anywhere that I can. Mainly, I want you to be there along the ways. After all, it's not often that I have the opportunity to travel outside my California Bubble. I'm willing to play house shows, so, if you live in any of the before mentioned states, and would like to see me perform from the comfort of your own home, well, by all means contact me through myspace or email. My booking email is located on my myspace page.

In other news, I recently acquired a booking agent for future college and university shows AND I'm participating in a Radio Contest through the station KYSR Star 98.7.

The radio contest is called Rockstar 98.7 and the winner of this fabulous contest receives $25,000, a record deal, and west coast tour with an ATO recording artist. For those of you unfamiliar with ATO records, their current roster includes the likes of Radiohead and David Gray as well as a number of other talented acts. Now, I would prattle on about this contest more, but I actually wrote a separate blog about this earlier today. If you're interested in helping (which would be very kind of you) you can read that blog to get the details.

As for right now, the cats finally passed out and I can barely keep my eyes open. I was planning on watching House tonight on DVD, but that just wasn't in the cards. It's my latest addiction.

Good Night.

Good Morning.

- Mike

I pity the foo'

So, I think I'm going to start wearing more gold chains (at the moment, I wear 0)... I really think gold necklaces with big gold pendants dangling off them that say things like "Princess of Power" are in order. I'm pretty sure this will get my ass kicked. You know, I also want to start wearing those "power" armbands, you know, the kind that you see 57-year-old males wearing out at the golf course.



They're supposed to channel energy because they're IONIZED.... yeah, I think I need seven of those on my left wrist... basically, expect me to look like Mr. T tonight at the show.

NOTE:

For those of you who do not know what Mr. T looks like



That certainly isn't him on the left BUT he DOES have the appropriate amount of gold chainage on in order to LOOK like Mr. T...

... and if you think any of this is silly



"I PITY THE FOO"

Keep'n' it real with the gold,

Mike

Ordering My New CD: IDIOSYNCRASIES

Hi Everyone,

As you all may know, Thursday June 14th 2007 was the official release of my brand new full length CD "Idiosyncrasies."



I am anxiously awaiting for it to be available for purchase on my myspace page, but this may take several weeks to put into motion considering that I am relying on a number of different companies to help me with this including Yahoo, iTunes, CD Baby, etc.

So, in the meanwhile, my CD can be purchased directly from me simply by sending me a myspace message requesting to buy one. I will run through the process with you once you do so.

Thank you so much for your support and I look forward to hearing from you all!

- Mike

Dear Steven Seagal

- This went off in the mail today after discovering Mr. Seagal's address in a recent children's publication. A cry for fan mail? Enjoy.

Dear Steven Seagal,

You are awesome. In fact, I would go so far as to say that you are my favorite actor, ever. I've loved you in a completely non-platonic way ever since seeing you purse your lips and hold a gun with two hands in "Hard to Kill." Never in my life have I seen so much depth and disposition, caring and genius, anger and passion go into your characters, over and over and over again. It's almost like you don't have to care when you act, and I love that. In fact, it's almost like you act like you act… now that's a real actor. Who else would have taught me as an actor to arrange my face in such an assortment of human emotions:



You are a true genius. In fact, the real reason I'm writing is to pass an idea by you. What if we make a movie where a train gets hijacked by terrorists and you are just a chef! People would totally dig it! It's like they would get to see that human side of you, the side that I see in you so clearly. Well, it's just an idea. I hope you like it.

Oh, and I totally think you are the best actor on those TNT "made for TV movies," after all, they know drama.

Yours Truly,

Mike

PLUSH CAFE TONIGHT...

You know, half the fun of playing shows at Plush Cafe is the ability that Gil and Ann give me to book artists that kisk ass. Over the next few months, I am pleased to say that I am surrounding myself with some of the better talent in the area. Tonight is no exception.

I cooked up something really dope this evening with two completely different musicians that are equally as talented and ready to seriously twist your head with some amazing original music:

Jaycob Van Auken
http://www.myspace.com/jaycobvanauken

AND

Meiko
http://www.myspace.com/meiko

AND

me of course
Mike Vitale
http://www.myspace.com/mikevitale

Let's start with Jaycob:



As you can tell ladies, he's quite the sexy beast. This really isn't his fault. He would leave you to believe that he was born and raised in Fullerton, but this really isn't the truth now, is it Jaycob. The facts of this matter are skewed and ultimately irrelevant, but he was raised by wolves deep in the hills of Oregon:



Before becoming more civilized:



and ultimately leading our ears to salvation with Jaycob Van Auken and The Hooligans



... and ladies and gentelmen, he's playing tonight at Plush Cafe.

Meiko on the other hand:



she is a REALLY great songwriter as well, but I really don't know her personally yet... aside from these tidbits of information that she so kindly devulged... very sensitive stuff:

1.) She has ten fingers
2.) She has a head
3.) She tends to sleep with her eyes closed
4.) She prefers eating over not eating
5.) She really likes having feet

You heard it here first.

Now, basically, I am offering you ENTERTAINMENT here people. Here's how to get to it:

Plush Cafe
207 N. Harbor Blvd.
Fullerton CA 92832

The Show starts at 7:30 PM

Visit their site at http://www.plushcafe.com

OR

Call them at 714 738 5100

All Ages - $5.00 at the door.

Hope to see you there.

Tootles,

- Mike

I'm thinking of a word...

... it rhymes with:

BEWARE - Read With Erection, I mean Discretion

You know, I think I might take to spamming myself on mypace. I haven't quite figured out the logistics of this yet, but I am certain that it has potential. For example, here is a quote of one that I recently found on a fellow musician's page (Ryan Baxley – http://www.myspace.com/ryanbaxley):

"Ok so now is the time, better now then never to tell you the truth about what all girls have on their mind and how they lie when they say that size does not matter. Take it from me, I am living proof that can confirm for you that the size and thickness of your prick does mean so much to all girls and if you can not satisfy a girl like the guys with big meatpoles do, then they will find a guy who can.
My bro Sammy heard about these enlarge pills on myspace a few months back and he ordered like nine bottles of the stuff, I know cause I found them stashed under his bed and he caught me snooping then told me all about his secret and that they made him grow almost 3 inches in two months and it got real thick too. He got them from this site just copy and paste it in your browser. MGFEE.COM
Best of all, the pills do work, Sam is living proof and I have no reason to lie for him, all the girls surround him now like he is some celeb, and he says its all cause of these little goodies from MGFEE.COM
Oh ya, just so you know, they guarentee that the pills work on any man or you get whatever you paid right back, so instead of thinking about doing it, just go to MGFEE.COM now and show the ladies what you are made of.
R01736449"

For those of you who stopped reading that excerpt before "meatpoles," shame on you; that's the funniest part... although the irreverant tendency of women to leave their men because of penis size is definitely a close second. There is so much to appreciate in spam! I am frankly a condesour. I love to purchase things from people with bad grammar.

Generally, I am concerned with the idea that someone is concerned about the size of my penis… yet, something tells me that there is ulterior motives (this is sarcasm kids… I'll make the introductions later). More importantly, I think this person is on to something! Why not make money off of stupid people (once again, sarcasm this is the audience… audience this is sarcasm)?

Instead, I think I need to hijack my own account and spam myself. At this rate, I could be making millions selling something ridiculous.
While I continue to hash this idea out, please, I'm open to suggestions. Products anyone? The person with the best idea will win penis enlargement pills courtesy of Sammy.

An Instruction Manual: Mike Vitale

I found this a few weeks ago on a bright red torn piece of paper tucked behind a dusty bookshelf I recently moved to the other side of my bedroom; enjoy:

I wish there was an instruction manual to life
Even though I'm a boy, I'd probably use it
Step 32 might lend a clue to the frown on your face
and the sudden, "Fuck you."

But nothing's ever as easy as we thought it would be
Besides, instruction manuals are written by human beings

Update on the new album IDIOSYNCRASIES - CD Track Listing

Hey Everyone,

I have been meaning to to do this for the past few weeks, and much to the chagrin of others around me (especially those around me immediately, urging me to turn off the lights and go to bed), I decided to post this blog while it is on the forefront of my memory (which seems so fleeting as of late).

I mainly just want everyone to know that the artwork for Idionsyncrasies is almost complete and that I am weeks away from having the CD pressed. In the meanwhile, I have been selling advance copies without artwork. I hope to have the album available on iTunes shortly as well, so keep your eyes peeled! Also, thank you for purchasing the album and not burning it for friends - the idea is for me to make a living at this. ;)

For those of you who have purchased a copy without artwork (bless your hearts), here is the tracklisting for the CD so you know what to call the songs (request to your heart's content at a venue near you):

1.) The Only One I Need
2.) All the Reasons that I Fell in Love with Her
3.) Weight of the World
4.) Last Night
5.) Original Sin
6.) Times Like These
7.) Irrationality
8.) On My Knees
9.) The Grocery Store Cerk
10.) Don't Go

I hope that this finds everyone well! If anyone has any questions regarding the new album, please, drop me a line!

Be Good,

Mike

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

I don't even know where to start with this story. What began as a general attempt at being a good person, has now invariably led to the addition of a new furry object on my person. Yes, the ratio of pussy to Mike in my household has increased 3 to 1. What am I talking about? Let me explain.

I was coming home from band practice the other night when I heard meowing from the steps above my apartment door. Upon further investigation, I realized that there was a 4 to 5 month old kitten direly in need of attention. Next thing I knew, she was rubbing my leg and it was all over. I took her home and my bathroom has had the fragrant aroma of pooh and kitty litter ever since.

I had noticed when I found Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto (that's her new name by the way) that she had been de-clawed recently, so I issued a block wide man hunt the next day for her owner, whom of which, 40 flyers later and a billion knocks door to door, I found. It appears that the previous owner was forced to release her cat because the apartment complex she lives in does not allow pets. So she released her young kitten on the world… and then, well, the fury little hellion found me. This was about three days ago.

Domo has quite the talent for keeping me up at night. A matter of fact, Jameson (the other pussy in my life) has a rather good knack for this as well. The two have teamed up to make sure that I don't have a good night's sleep, ever! Seriously, I'm thinking that they conspire to allow me no rest with whispers of "Meow and Mutiny." They have a career in WWE waiting if this home life thing never works out for them.

I constantly hear people say that cats are horrible pets (and they're right). Think about it, dogs have that whole pack mentality thing happening where humans can assume the role of leader… and dogs just fall in line. Cats on the other hand, see right through that bullshit; they are independent creatures by nature. I think that's why I like cats so much. They jump on the table for attention; they know it's going to piss me off, but since I ignore them, they push my buttons just to get me to pay attention to them. It's kind of cute once you stop screaming at them… and utterly devious. In all respects, I am positive that they think I am theirs: "Feed me human! Can't you see I'm starving, oh, and while you're at it, my cat box is soiled; get to it bucko… oops, did I just vomit on your carpet; my bad."

I think next time I'm going to think twice about being a good person…

Introducing Geoff Ereth

...you probably have never heard his name before, but I am fairly confident that you will right now by reading this (aren't I a clever little fellow).

I have the pleasure of being friends with this guy, but to me, he is far more than just that.

I first met Geoff in a small coffee shop in Santa Ana called the Gypsy Den at their weekly open mic when I first moved to Orange County in 2002. Geoff was the tender age of whatever (is it really important?), and I (who cares). What is really important to note is that I fell in love with his voice the first time I heard him sing; he played a Cole Porter tune called "Love for Sale." Now, you know how when you accidentally cough up a little bit of vomit, not enough to consider it puking... but just enough to ruin the taste in your mouth... well, I did the same thing, but instead of it having anything to do with vomit/mouth, it had more to do with a particular sexual feature of my body and a brand new pair of underwear (no, I'm not gay, unless you mean gay for Geoff... wait, am I Geoff?). At any rate, I was astounded and amazed by someone who was not a superstar or a rock star, but a mere mortal... much more to the point, he was better than anything I had ever heard on the radio (and to this day, it still stands true).

I don't remember exactly how I approached Geoff, but if anything, I remember feeling very intimidated, considering that I had, at this time, only a few songs that I had written and was very much a novice songwriter. Now, for those of you who have never been to the Gypsy Den, it is very quaint, poorly lit for mood, and small, with furniture that does not match... essentially, it look like a Gypsy Den! So, as I left my mismatched chair with coffee in hand, I squeezed through a few other mismatched chairs, ran in to a couple of tables, tripped a few times, and finally came to rest and kneel before the most awe-inspiring local musician I had ever witnessed! Of course, these feelings of inferiority passed immediately considering that Geoff was and is such a tender fellow and appeared to love my voice too. He mentioned something about how he was just getting ready to approach me, but was waiting for the person's set to end (as we were at the weekly open mic and someone was in the middle of performing - how uncouth of me, hehe).

To make a long story short, the open mic eventually ended, and Geoff and I sat outside of the closed coffee shop for several hours: trading stories, passing a guitar back and forth, while making each other laugh with an uncannily similar taste in thoroughly disgusting humor. We have been friends ever since.

Now, you may be wondering, "why is Mike telling me this story?" Well, if anything, it is to remind me that Geoff is just a normal human being like you and me… yet, he manages to write the most beautiful, touching, and supernatural songs that I have EVER heard in my entire life; for me, he is like the experience of finding God. He has made me laugh, he has made me cry, he has made a mess of my underwear… all by just listening to his CD. You should listen to him too; I promise that your life will never be the same!

He is very easy to find too. He is and always will be the first friend listed on my Top 12 of myspace OR go here

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=154846056

Remember the name Geoff Ereth right now, because one day he is going to be a BIG star.